Sometimes two very good people just aren’t very good together – and vows that were meant to last forever have to be broken.
Just the same, if you still have feelings for your spouse, you don’t want your divorce to turn into an all-out war. At a minimum, you want to part on amicable – if not friendly – terms. Here are some tips that can help you navigate this sensitive time:
1. Be clear and direct about your intentions
Nothing can create hard feelings faster than false hope. If you’re resolute in your decision to divorce, be clear about the fact that the marriage cannot be saved.
2. Communicate with respect and listen carefully
The tone of your divorce may be set during those first, early conversations, so choose your words carefully. Focus on the future, not the past or your grievances – and let your spouse share their perspective. You can acknowledge their feelings even if you don’t agree with them.
3. Look for common goals
The best way to keep your spouse as an ally in your divorce process is to find areas where you can agree. If you have young children, that may mean prioritizing their well-being. If your children are grown and have families of their own, that may be minimizing the family drama for your grandchildren’s sake. If you don’t have children, it may simply be enough to agree that you want to both exit the union on stable financial ground.
4. Be willing to compromise
It’s always wisest to go into a divorce with a clear list of priorities. Once you identify your “must-haves” from your “would-likes” you can find ways to compromise with your spouse so that you can craft a mutually acceptable divorce agreement.
Finally, remember that a collaborative divorce is easier when you have experienced legal guidance by your side. When emotions run high, the right assistance can make all the difference.
