Now that you and your spouse have decided that it is time to divorce, you may be hoping to feel calmer.
The children are acting out at home and in school. They are feeling the stress of the coming divorce and they may be grieving as well.
You may be hurting, but your children are hurting more
Even though you and your spouse have separated and started divorce proceedings, your children need both of you now. Finding a caring child counselor may also help you and your children to navigate the next few months.
Because of their age, your children may be the most vulnerable parties in your divorce and the custody litigation. When you and your spouse are able to agree on all of the arrangements for your children, all of you may feel a little better.
Your children may be blaming themselves for your divorce
Your children may believe that they are to blame for you and your spouse’s decision to divorce. By sitting down together and calmly discussing child custody, support and child care arrangements, you may be able to help your children feel a little better.
When children sense that you and your spouse are not angry at each other, they may begin feeling more secure. Your main goal at this stage should be to help your children feel safe. They should also continue to know that they matter.
Iowa considers the children’s wishes in custody issues
Like other states, Iowa has laws that govern the custody of your children as you and your spouse separate.
Iowa allows separated parents to share joint custody; grandparents may have visitation rights. The court may also consider the wishes of your children—however, the judge may decide child custody based on the best interests of your children.