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How to manage your anger while co-parenting during divorce

On Behalf of | May 21, 2024 | Divorce

Since divorce is such a trying experience, it’s very easy to lose your cool, even in front of your children. Dealing with the emotions that uprooting your life brings to the surface can be challenging, perhaps especially if you didn’t see your divorce coming.

But despite this being an uphill task, you likely know in your bones that one of your core objectives during this transition is to put your kids above any disagreements you might have with your soon-to-be ex. Therefore, above nearly all else, you and your spouse should avoid arguing in front of the kids. Expressing your anger in front of your offspring can make this transition much harder than it already is.

Why are you so angry?

One of the best ways to manage your anger during divorce is to find out why you’re so angry. Did you know that anger is a secondary emotion? This means you can quell it by establishing the primary emotion causing it. Perhaps you feel hurt because of your partner’s infidelity or betrayed by their reckless financial activities. Whatever reason that’s triggering your fury, you can learn to practice acceptable and look at the divorce as a way out of an unacceptable partnership.

Once you know what is making you angry, you should be mindful of the moments when your demeanor shifts into fury. This way, you can stop yourself in your tracks to help ensure the feeling of anger doesn’t take over your words and actions.

Communicate with your partner and the kids

You would be surprised by how less frequently you get angry if you communicate your needs and concerns to your partner and the kids. One misconception divorcing couples may have is that they shouldn’t try to communicate since the marriage has broken down. Surprisingly, you especially need to practice effective communication skills now that disagreements are more likely to arise.

You should also communicate with the kids during this difficult transition to help ensure they speculate and jump to conclusions. The last thing you want is for your kids to feel responsible for your divorce or less loved by their parents because you seem awfully quiet all of a sudden.

Processing your anger in healthy ways during divorce can help ensure your kids don’t have to endure any more turbulence during this transition than necessary. While you may experience setbacks, your focus should remain on putting your kids above the disagreements that may arise between you and your co-parent. Remember that having a reliable legal team by your side can also help manage your anger by giving you access to actionable solutions when you need them.