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How to have a child-centered divorce in Iowa

On Behalf of | Feb 7, 2022 | Divorce

Divorce is one of the most difficult things any person can go through. Along with dealing with your own emotions, you have to worry about how your children are going to handle it. If you’ve been wondering how to make things easier on your children, here are a few tips.

Keep them out of the middle

One of the most important things you can do is to keep your children out of the middle of your divorce. Don’t talk negatively about their other parent in front of them, and don’t use them as messengers. Also, don’t try to get them on your side. Don’t tell them that you’re the one who doesn’t want a divorce, or that it’s their other parent’s fault for the split up. In other words, don’t use your kids as an outlet for your frustrations or try to turn them against the other parent.

Consider out-of-court options

When you and your spouse have decided to get a divorce, it’s natural to want the process over with as quickly as possible. However, this is not always in your kids’ best interests because they can get traumatized by the entire ordeal if you choose court proceedings. To avoid putting them through that, consider out-of-court options like mediation or collaborative divorce methods. These methods are often less traumatic for kids and can be quicker than a traditional divorce.

Make sure they know that you love them

The divorce is not their fault, and you need to make this clear. They may get scared about what’s going on, but if they understand that it has nothing to do with how much you love them, they may have an easier time navigating their emotions.

Talk to them about it

Before the divorce is finalized and you move out, talk to your kids about what’s going on. Make sure that they understand why you’re getting a divorce and the changes that will be taking place in their lives. Answer any questions that they have honestly and completely.

Although your children may not be able to fully understand what’s happening during your divorce, you need to make sure that you are doing everything you can to make the process as smooth and easy for them as possible. Following these tips can help ensure that they don’t feel overwhelmed or frightened by the situation.