In addition to all the other details you need to settle when you get divorced in Iowa, developing a co-parenting arrangement that you, your former spouse and the children can stick to, maybe for years to come, is challenging.
Everyone has their own competing priorities, opinions and needs. The kids’ loyalties may be divided, perhaps bitterly. There could be unresolved anger between you and your ex-husband or ex-wife. Cooperation between everyone might be hard right now. With all those potential hurdles in mind, a co-parenting agreement should nevertheless be established.
Hopefully, it can be one that all of you can abide by and at least tolerate without too much tension, fighting or hostility.
This is a perfect time for both of you to be good role models. You and your ex can demonstrate to the children that two people who may not be able to remain together in a marriage can bypass their rifts and be caring, conscientious parents.
What to take note of when negotiating your co-parenting agreement
Experts have some useful advice on how to navigate this critical period as your family prepares to move forward after your divorce.
- Think about giving the children a voice in making arrangements that affect them.
- Keep the level of upheaval in the kids’ daily lives as limited as possible.
- This is a time of tremendous change and uncertainty for your youngsters. Don’t lose sight of that. If they balk or act out, especially at first, be understanding and patient with them.
- Be flexible. Bend whenever you can.
- Address potential transportation issues. How will the kids get from your home to your ex’s on a regular basis?
Your kids’ post-divorce life is taking shape
This is an important time for your children. It should be pain-free. They have already been through a lot of stress, and now it’s time to embark on a whole new routine. If you hit any snags, learn more from a person you trust about the legal aspects of co-parenting.