If you and your ex-spouse have worked out a solid child custody agreement that works for everyone, there may come a time when your child tells you that she or he wants to live with the other parent. While the move keeps your child with you in Iowa, the news still acts as a major upheaval to your life.

OurFamilyWizard has some ideas to help you cope with such news. Learn how to do what is best for your child and your family.

Shift your perspective

While your initial reaction may be a mix of feelings of inadequacy, hurt and disappointment, it is best to look at the situation from your child’s point of view. Think of how anxious and hesitant your child had to have been before breaking the news. Think of how long it took your daughter or son to reach such a decision.

Separate yourself from your emotions

Besides shifting your perspective, you also have to do your best not to take the news personally. True, the decision involves you, but it may have very little to do with you and your parenting skills. Additionally, it is best if you talk with your child without injecting any hurt feelings into your words.

Sit down with the other parent

Of course, you want to talk to the other parent about your child’s decision. Besides talking over the logistics, you should also compare how your child acts and the environment she or he has at both houses. Work together to find out how you can bring out the best in your child.

This information is only intended to educate and should not be interpreted as legal advice.